“You have creative control. When you begin to notice the correlation between what you're thinking and what you are feeling, and then what the consequential corresponding absolute matching manifestation is, then you finally get it that you do have control over your own experience.” Abraham-Hicks
Wanna’ know a secret to following your bliss? Regret.
Experiencing regret can be very immobilizing. And yet, regret can also catapult you into your ideal life. See, what we often misunderstand about regret is that, for as powerfully immobilizing it can be, it is an equally powerful catalyst.
Too often, though, because of our conditioning or programming, we are are taught to suppress our feelings of regret and we simply do not know how to deal. The result is worrying over the fact we are experiencing a “negative” or low level vibration--a perpetuating cycle of UGH!
Instead of inviting this cycle into your awareness, simply face the regrets! Ask yourself what issues are bubbling up in your life right now. What issues are you currently struggling with? What issues leave you perplexed, confused, immobilized and unable to take action? I can appreciate that it’s probably a bit difficult to let them come to the surface, but really think about them. Let them come. Let them bubble up…
While thinking about your issues, it is highly likely that you thought about things you may wish to change about yourself. Perhaps you are dealing with anger. "If only s/he would not do that, I wouldn’t be so angry.”
Or maybe you worry about your weight. "If only I could drop a few pounds, life would get better.”
Or perhaps you fear living in lack. "If only I had the money I need, things would be better.” Or maybe, “if only I had the one my heart longs for, things would be better.”
Finally, ask yourself, "what is the emotion I feel when I think about these regrets?"
It’s time to get real and recognize the blessings found within these regrets!
Every time you find yourself making an “if only” statement, you are really making a statement about the lousy condition of your current reality. You may think I am being harsh, but there is hope, I promise!
Consider that your subconscious slips up and gives you clues all the time. Clues as to what will really make your soul sing! “If only” is just your soul's way of saying, "I am tired of this burden and I wish it to change. I am currently unhappy about the choices I have made (or am making) in my life.” “If only…” implies a level of dissatisfaction with the current state of affairs, and usually always precedes a flight of fancy. My question is this: Why does it have to remain a pipe dream? Why is it that when one makes an “if only” statement, he or she stops short of taking the actions necessary to make this fantastic notion a reality?
The average person thinks 60,000 thoughts per day. Even if negativity seeps into your subconscious 10% of the time, that's still 6,000 negative thoughts a day! I can assure you, if you want to reach the pinnacles of success and live the life that you have previously only been able to dream about, the key is changing your thought process. By paying attention to the regrets you express, you can begin to shift your thought process more easily. After all, these regrets are great clues for identifying those things that would make your life more satisfying and by making the statement, your subconscious mind is telling you “hey, listen up! This is what we need to feel ALIVE!”
And really, there is nothing wrong with expressing your regrets, because the truth is that you are practicing the art of discernment. You have realized that where you are, right now in this very moment is not who or what you truly desire to be. In fact, expressing your “if only” is the most important part of stepping into your higher and better self.
The next time you find yourself uttering an “if only,” bring your attention to the reality of your situation with an eye for zeroing in on what makes you feel the best. For instance, the statement, “if only I had a million dollars, I could….,” contains the (limiting) belief that you are too poor to achieve your dreams. It is the subconscious mind bursting through the ego and expressing itself and this perception of being poor does not make you feel good.
BUT--“if only” does not have to remain a fantasy! You do not have to continue feeling bad about your regrets! Feeling bad about your regrets helps you to get clarity around what it is you DO want in life—and once you realize this, you are well on your way to being a very powerful manifester! And then immediately begin to take actions that lead you toward feeling GOOD!
You are the creator of your reality! Using the example above, you have a few choices here, you can focus on taking action toward manifesting that cool million, or you can focus on gaining a new perspective around abundance and prosperity. These are both in alignment with your GOOD VIBES desire.
Or, of course, you can choose to remain immobilized and do nothing.
I recommend using your regrets to focus your energy where you think it will be best utilized.
I love this image. I make no copyright claims to it, and if you know the creator, please let me know so I can give credit for its brilliant message.
I was touching up my lip-gloss
in the ladies room the other day when the woman standing next to me looked into the mirror and said, "Ugh...it's useless! There is no amount of makeup that can fix this face!" She was speaking tongue-in-cheek, of course, but it made me wonder...does she realize how this statement holds her back?
How many times have you made similar flippant comments? "Ugh, my butt is soooo big!" Or, “Ugh, my hair is sooooo frizzy!”
Or this one, my favorite *insert eye-roll here* "...I don't know." As in, you are at work and you have a brilliant idea to share with your boss that will increase productivity and efficiency, so you say, "Hey Boss, I have this absolutely brilliant idea to increase worker productivity and efficiency. But I don't know..."
I have but one request: Can we all just
STOP THAT? Please!?
Every time we down-play our beauty, talents or smarts, every time we talk about how fat we are, or how ugly our hair is, or how stupid our ideas are we perpetuate the false beliefs that we are not good enough! And if you have been reading my blog or watching my videos, you may have already heard me say that it is our beliefs which guide our behavior.
It then becomes a toxic cycle, because when we think small, we act small, and small-minded actions do nothing to help us live the life of our dreams! What’s more, when we fall into this trap of self-defeating comments and behavior, we project that onto the world, and the world---responds accordingly!
That's right! You train the world how you wish for them to perceive you through your words, beliefs and actions. You, my dear, are as GORGEOUS/TALENTED/BRILLIANT/SMART (insert your own descriptor here) as you think you are! Because beliefs guide behavior, your behavior tells the world how to respond to you. So, if you want us to think you are gorgeous, project it! Be confident in your beauty, your talents, your smarts!
Confidence is SEXY! Portray it! Project it! And don't be afraid to PROCLAIM it!
(As in, "Dang girl! Your hair looks FABULOUS!"
or "I LOVE the way my butt looks in these jeans!"
or "I KNOW! I've got a BRILLIANT idea....!")
If you would like to learn how you can transform old "small-minded" beliefs into something more suited for your dream life, something more CONFIDENT,
get in touch with me!
I offer one-on-one coaching in person and via Skype. I have LOADS of tricks and tips that can help you! Just send me an email! firstname.lastname@example.org to schedule your session!
I’d like to finish this post with one of my all-time FAVORITE quotes:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. You’re playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
~ Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love
So, just who do you THINK you are?
XXX~ Dawn "Ms. Bliss Coach"
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What would you do if you knew you could not fail?
Failure, in our culture, is the ultimate curse word! To fail is to not meet up to expectations (either your own or others'). It places you lower on the rungs of the ladder to success, ostracizes you as "incapable." We think of failure as a bad thing. We think of it as the most devastating thing that we could ever endure. We think of it as an END to a dream.
…yadda, yadda, yadda…
Well, F@*$ this! I think we have the wrong mindset about “failure.” What if, instead of thinking this way, we thought of failure as an inevitable part of the process to achieving that dream? Instead of it being a matter of devastation, it was simply a wrong turn on this journey?
A few years ago I started an online business, selling vintage collectibles and antiques. I have long been a collector of unusual things that “spoke” to me. Literally, I can feel the stories of old objects and if something felt right, and I liked its story, I would keep it. One day I decided to clear the clutter from my space. Knowing that everything is energy, I felt like transferring my stuff for a different kind of energy—money.
Now, as far as the ins and outs of running an online business-- I had no clue! But I didn’t think it could be that hard. I created my website, I listed a few things at really low prices—once they flew off my shelves, I realized that just maybe the prices were a bit too low. I bumped up the prices a bit and found they were still flying off the shelves. I began to more thoroughly research what I had and found that things I had been selling could have sold for three times that amount.
Failure? Perhaps some would see it this way. In fact, every time I recount this story, someone inevitably proclaims, “FAIL!” But I prefer to view it differently. This “failure” was really the cost of my education. I have since learned that it pays to perform due diligence and thoroughly research before listing.
In retrospect, once I decided to take action, there was no such thing as failure--only experiences, consequences and results. This is the Principle of Cause and Effect at play. Every action has a reaction. Failure is just one effect.
My point is this: if you are unsure of HOW to get there, don’t sweat it! Once you decide to take action, you have to trust that the Universe conspires to give you what you need at the moment you need it! Trusting that everything happens for a reason develops an inner spirit of un-stop-ability! Trusting in this process allows you to approach everything with a solution-oriented mindset.
Most importantly, learn from it! Don’t let it eat you! Regroup, figure out a plan B and move on! Many people take this initial unmet expectation as a cue to give up and never learn from it. This is where YOU can rise above and shine!
So what if it didn’t go as you expected it to!? So what if you did not meet your deadline, or make the money you wanted? So what, so what, so what?? Ask yourself instead, “What have I learned?” “What can I do differently?” “What is the benefit here?” And most importantly, “What has this taught me about myself?” If you view failure as a learning experience, you soon see that every failure is really a new possibility!
Have a plan, take action, be flexible and learn from it! You can label it whatever you want, but in my experience, failure is just another word for possibility. By choosing to look at it this way, I have grown tremendously! I have also learned that building possibility into my plan of action for achieving my BIG DREAM-- gets me there!
Me and my daughter enjoying a hearty Group Belly Laugh at a laughter session!
I was rushing the other day to get to our Lughnasadh celebration and it seemed like nothing was going right. I left a basket of food on the counter and didn't realize it until we arrived to the party. So I drove back to the house to get it. The boys followed me into the house and I asked one of them to carry it out to the car while I checked to make sure I had everything else. He passed it off to his brother, and unbeknownst to me, the basket was left on the porch.
So, we were half way to our destination--again!--when they remembered their mistake. I breathed a deep sigh, turned on the blinker and pulled the car to the side of the road, erupting in a fit of laughter. Both boys looked at me like I was insane, but it helped me to release my frustration!
When things don’t go as we wish, we are often advised to just go with the flow. But for many of us, that is hard to do! In my laughter yoga teacher training, I learned about something that can help. It is the concept of the “inner spirit of laughter.”
The inner spirit of laughter is about so much more than just laughing or just yoga--the inner spirit of laughter is a state of mind that allows one the ability to stay positive when everything seems challenging. It can improve physical health and help to release negative thoughts. From my own experience and from listening to others, I know that negative thoughts can crystalize and take physical form! So, when things don’t go your way, you can either laugh or cry. I have found that laughing is the path of least resistance and offers better outcomes!
As a sales manager, I was in a state of constant worry--I was constantly stressed about money and image and meeting goals and yet, everything that I was afraid of came true. It is no secret that I have met my own extreme challenges in life, including the fact that I lost my job, my house, my car, and my family went through a devastating separation. In the process, my children and I became homeless, living with kind family members. I found myself literally starting over at the bottom with nothing but each other.
After I realized my worst fears, I began to feel extreme guilt. Fear and guilt are two the two most paralyzing emotions anyone can experience because they keep you mired in murky muck, unable to move forward in life. Although I started to rebuild my life, I was still scared and harboring feelings of guilt. I sought a therapist to help me through this time of insecurity. It was after all of this happened that I found laughter yoga, and it was timely for me, occurring as if on cue. If I had not gone through these extreme challenges, I wouldn’t have taken my training in laughter yoga as seriously as I have.
You see, laughter yoga helped me to re-train myself to laugh for no reason. For me, it was a remembering of who I am. As a child, my nickname was Giggles because I would and could laugh at anything and had a happy-go-lucky attitude of grace (but that is another blog post!) I remembered with laughter yoga that when you find yourself in a challenging situation, if you can laugh openly, for no reason at all, you will trigger your mind to overcome difficult situations more easily.
Laughter yoga goes beyond laughter. It trains your body & mind to respond to challenges in a more productive manner. I remember how, before laughter yoga, I lived in a constant state of lack and scarcity, and because it was the core of my subconscious mind at the time, I actually manifested loss of everything for myself. I am of the belief that your thought forms create your physical reality and it is important to watch what you think about. Laughter yoga has helped me to retrain my mind and body to respond differently to negative thoughts and feelings. My training in laughter yoga has opened up channels for me to express my fears in a productive way, allowing me to face them head on and deal with them, instead of burying them and worrying about them all the time.
The surprise in all of this is that cultivating an inner spirit of laughter helped me to reconnect to my spiritual side. Yoga is Sanskrit for “to connect,” and in context, means to connect to the Higher Self. When we are connected to our Higher Self, things flow more easily in our lives! But yoga can also connect us to others and build community. When you laugh you raise your own vibration and others pick up on it—it is contagious and infectious and you soon begin to see that the Inner Spirit of Laughter promotes community building. The exercises I teach in a laughing session bring us to that mental state of appreciation because this is the space in which we connect with others, and they are really profound and life changing.
With laughter, I have gone from an attitude based on fear and ego to one of appreciation and gratitude. I find my days starting a little brighter, waking every morning and feeling appreciation for every little thing. The inner spirit of laughter has helped me to recognize the little things that make life a big deal!
Whenever you find yourself in a challenging situation, just laugh! I would LOVE to teach you how!
I was interviewed by the lovely and charming Joanna Devoe for her KickAss Witch
blog and got to explain a little bit more about what I do! She has interviewed some pretty amazing and brilliantly talented women and I am honored to be included in her list of inspiring and KickAss Witches! Lol! Check it out!